Today was hard.
Not an “I stubbed my toe and broke a nail” hard, or “I burned the biscuits and shrunk my favorite sweater” hard, or even “The roof is leaking and my car won’t start” hard.
Today was a “My heart is so broken I can’t breathe” hard.
That’s where I was first thing this morning.
No matter how much I willed it to be different, I was so completely overwhelmed by emotions that I had no control whatsoever.
The tears came with a vengeance and I experienced those deep-seeded, inside-wrenching sobs that only accompany the “My heart is so broken I can’t breathe” kind of hard.
I’d love to tell you that before nightfall, things changed in the blink of an eye and my circumstances took a complete 180 degree turn, but that would be untrue.
Things are still hard tonight and at times, it’s still hard to breathe.
My heart is still broken.
So, what do we do when we have this kind of day?
Spend some time alone? Yes.
Cry? Of course.
Throw our hands up and surrender? Absolutely.
Before you think I’ve completely lost it, let me clarify.
I’m not referring to the “Life is just too hard and cruel, so I quit!” kind of surrender.
I’m talking about a beautiful, broken surrender.
The “This is too hard for me to handle, so Lord, please handle this for me” kind of surrender.
Friends, I’ve learned a simple, yet profound truth:
When I can’t, He can.
It doesn’t matter what the circumstances or the details.
No matter what’s going on or how hard it may be for me, I can bring it to Jesus and He handles it.
When I am bound, He loosens.
When I am broken, He repairs.
When I am wounded, He heals.
Because I am His.
For the good, the bad, and the ugly, He loves me and works on me like no one else could.
I am broken, but I’m beautiful in His eyes.
He’ll keep working on me until the day comes when I am no longer broken, but I’ll be whole and perfect and in His presence.
He’s so patient.
I would’ve given up a long, long time ago, but He still loves me.
Even in my brokenness.
“I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick:” ~Ezekiel 34:16a
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” ~Psalms 147:3
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” ~Psalms 51:17
“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” ~Psalms 34:18
I can’t speak for you, but I don’t care for broken things.
I like things strong and sturdy and dependable…not weak, fragile, and broken.
I definitely fall into the “weak, fragile, and broken” category, and there’s no better place to be.
Were I strong, sturdy, and dependable, I would have no need of the One who loves me and sees the beauty of His Son in spite of my brokenness.
Broken doesn’t equal useless…not in God’s economy.
He can still take broken things, broken hearts, broken people and make something wonderful and beautiful.
On these hard days, I am reminded that being broken is a good place to be. ❤️