Since 2020 has decided to be the year of chaos and craziness, it’s safe to say everyone will be celebrating Mother’s Day a bit differently than usual.
I don’t know about you, but normally, we would go to church and then out to eat after church with my in-laws. Afterward, I would call my mama in Georgia to wish her a happy Mother’s Day, and chat with her a bit.
While some states are beginning to open up again, here in North Carolina, we are still limited to gatherings of 10 people or less, and no restaurant dining rooms are open….so tomorrow will look different for us. I’ll still call my mama, but other things will change.
Honestly, Mother’s Day snuck up on me this year. I didn’t even realize it was tomorrow until last Sunday. Two months in quarantine with every day being the same has thrown routine out the window and my whole world off kilter a bit.
My hubs and I were talking earlier about Mother’s Day, and he made a joke about all the preachers studying tonight to get their message for moms ready for tomorrow. I chuckled, but you know as well as I do that he’s not wrong. Everyone knows what 99% of the sermons will say tomorrow…though this year, we may hear a few references to the ‘rona thrown in.
It’s why so many hurting women don’t go to church on Mother’s Day – they know the message will not be directed to them, but will instead pour salt into their wounds.
I am not saying that mothers should not be acknowledged, honored, and loved. Heaven knows that they should. I am saying it shouldn’t be done at the expense of broken-hearted ladies sitting in the congregation.
While Justin and I were talking tonight, I had all these things running through my mind, and I made a hard confession. Mother’s Day is still hard for me.
“But Naomi, you’re a mother now!” Yes, I am, but that doesn’t mean I forget about the years I spent just trying to stitch myself together long enough to endure a church service I did not want to be in before I completely fell apart again.
“But Naomi, you can finally hold your head high and be acknowledged and appreciated!” Sure, but couldn’t I have been acknowledged before as a woman who longed to be a mother and appreciated for simply being who God had me be? Shouldn’t we offer the same consideration to the other ladies we know and love who aren’t mothers, yet they are valuable additions to the kingdom of God? No one should ever be made to feel “less than” because God’s plan for their life is different.
While I’m here (and a little riled up), let me also say that I take issue with the sentiment that the greatest thing a woman can do is be a wife and mother. Don’t misunderstand me. These are both wonderful things, and I count it a high privilege to be a wife to a wonderful man and a mother to a firecracker of a little boy…but alone, these aren’t the greatest things I can ever do. The highest calling on any woman’s life (or man’s life for that matter) is for her to find the will of God and do it. It may be to be a wife and mother, but it may not. God’s will looks different for different people, and just because it may look out of the ordinary for some does not mean they should ever be made to feel that they have no value or purpose to the church or to God. She is precious to the One who bought her, and she is precious to us all as a part of the body of Christ…and she should be treated as such, on Mother’s Day and every day.
“But Naomi, you have a beautiful little boy who loves you!” Yes, I do, and he also has another mother out there who may be having a hard time tomorrow. She is never far from my thoughts, but especially on Mother’s Day. I get to celebrate tomorrow because of her, and this day will always be shared with her, even if it’s from a distance.
What I’m trying to get across is that Mother’s Day isn’t always neatly wrapped and tied with a little bow. For some it is, and that’s great. For some, it’s messy and hard, and that’s okay too. To borrow a line from Sven in Frozen 2, “You feel what you feel, and those feelings are real.” Who knew a reindeer could be so deep and relatable?! 😉
For myself, I think Mother’s Day will always be a little bittersweet…but that’s just life — mixing the bad with the good, the hard with the happy. Perfection is overrated. A little mess isn’t always a bad thing. 💜
Whether tomorrow you find yourself celebrating your mom, missing your mom, being celebrated by others, wishing you could crawl in a hole, or anywhere in between, know that you are seen and loved by the only One who truly matters.
Hopefully 2020 will soon get her act together, but for now, I’m sending socially-distant hugs to you all. 😉 Happy Mother’s Day. 🌹