Today did not go the way I had envisioned.
I’m running out of days to get my super long “to-do” list done, so I was determined to put a big dent in it today. I failed.
I’m still learning how to juggle housework and keep us fed and clothed with adding a completely dependent little person in the mix…and I’m failing.
My tight, cold-weather clothes from last year that were supposed to fit better this year are still tight, and maybe even tighter than before. I failed.
My stress level has been high. Today, I tried to keep calm, but I failed.
This evening, instead of sitting on my couch enjoying a cup of coffee with a clean house and a sense of accomplishment, I stood over a sink full of still dirty dishes and cried because I felt buried under a sense of failure.
I felt like a failure as a wife, and as a mom, and it started snowballing from there until I stood crying over dirty bowls and cups, convinced I was a horrible person and wondered why anyone would put up with me.
Do you ever have days like that?
Maybe you’re a man and you’re wide-eyed and shaking your head, “No.” But maybe you’re a woman, and you totally get it.
Some days leave us feeling more battered and bruised than others. We’re left licking our wounds, often resulting in a pity party.
So, in case you need it too, here’s the pep talk I gave myself tonight:
Just because I failed today doesn’t mean my life is a failure. Today was hard, yes, but how I respond to it is up to me. I can wallow, eat ice cream, and whine, or I can ask God to pick me up by my bootstraps, complete one more thing on my list for today, and then eat a little ice cream before bed anyway because I can. I can cry myself to sleep, or I can spend some time praying and asking for God’s help to get my eyes off of myself and put them back where they belong- on Him.
Today, I failed. Tomorrow can be different.
The success of my life doesn’t hinge on this or any one day. It doesn’t hinge on me at all.
I am in Christ. Christ is in me. He gives me worth, and He is all I need.
Tonight, I choose to focus on Him, and not on my failures. Tomorrow, I’ll go to church with my husband and my son and worship Him who loves me in spite of my failures…and when I have time, I’ll keep chipping away at that “to-do” list.
What will you do tomorrow? Wallow or worship?
It’s up to you.