For so many, Mother’s Day is a happy day filled with smiles, flowers, Hallmark cards, hugs, little voices saying, “I love you, Mommy,” sweet church sermons, meals someone else prepared, sometimes even a house someone else cleaned.
For others, it is a day filled with forced smiles, feelings of inadequacy, longing, despair, empty arms, lots of tears, and a completely broken heart. More times than not, this Sunday morning service is endured, rather than enjoyed.
For women dealing with infertility, this is a day that they would rather pass in their pajamas with ice cream and chick flicks.
Anything to distract them from the reality their empty arms.
If I’m being honest, I’m one of these women.
If Mother’s Day wasn’t on a Sunday, I wouldn’t leave my house. Seriously.
Everywhere we go, everything we see, everyone we come into contact with is one more reminder that we don’t have the one thing we want more than anything else in this world.
It’s a hard day.
We try to be happy for all those around us who have been blessed with children of their own. We try to be thankful for all the things that God has chosen to bless us with. We try to enjoy the gifts of all the children in our lives – nieces, nephews, friend’s kids.
We try…and we succeed, to a point.
But once that point is reached…we are left holding a broken heart.
If this isn’t something you have experienced, be grateful.
Take time to thank the Lord for those precious children. You have no idea how many people would give anything for the opportunity to have a loud, messy home where little boys and girls are making memories.
Being a mother is a privilege denied to many. We know it is all in God’s hands, but the heart still aches over empty arms.
So, if you know someone…especially if you love someone…who longs to be a mother, please, please remember that this is such a hard day for her, and be sensitive to the fact that her heart is broken. Her smile hides a multitude of tears that, thankfully, you don’t understand.
Let her cry if she needs to.
Pray for her.
This is all she really needs.
If you are one of these women, let me remind you that you aren’t alone. Don’t let yourself believe the lie of the enemy that you are. Certainly, don’t alienate yourself from everyone in an attempt to make this lie true.
I’ve been there.
I’ve done that.
The only thing that can be gained from that course of action is additional pain.
Surround yourself with people who love you.
Try to love on those precious little gifts from God…because that’s what children are, even if they weren’t given to you.
If you need a little while to cry, cry…and don’t be ashamed.
By all means, pray. Tell God you’re hurting. He already knows, but tell Him anyway. He wants you to come to Him. He’s the only One who can truly help…and He is ready, willing, and able to do just that.
Don’t despise this time of your life. I know it’s hard. I know that a lot of days will be spent wishing and praying for it to be over. I know how much your heart can hurt…but please, don’t get bitter.
Allow this fire to do its work in your life. Submit to God’s plan and be patient. You may not see it right now, but He has a purpose for it.
One more thing: If you or someone you love have a hard time welcoming Mother’s Day, please remember the heart can still be full even when the arms are empty.